Pheromone Girl Grows Up

Once upon a time...

I don't write to be followed. I write to vent, to share, to draw inspiration from my own ability to expel the experiences that cause me pain and joy and heartache. I honestly could care less about who reads and what they get from said reading. Learn something here? Great. Did I offer you something you needed to hear? Fabulous. But, if not? Whatever. I don't do this for any need to have my ego stroked (get plenty of that offline, thanks) or to watch the number of followers grow.

Now, I have noticed lately that lots and lots and lots of people have more followers than I. More VISIBLE followers. It just so happens that I am probably the recipient of the "person with the most invisible followers on the planet" award. I get emails every week from people that read my blog but have not added it to their crawl. So what?

I almost wish the number of followers was zero. I LIKE the fact that I have people pop in and say hi but I don't wonder why they're not commenting frequently. What I say will bother, titillate or garner a laugh out of follower A, B or C. I know some people watch that number grow (and have heard them say so - which is kind of sad) and I have to feel a little sorry for them. Here's why.

1) I have real, actual, air-breathing friends with whom I can share space on a daily basis. I've made some stellar friends online, but there are also lots of people out there that leave a bad taste.

b) I have a little family unit that I love and adore and am completely content with. My followers are NOT my family or really much more than acquaintances that found something in my writing that they liked. Which is great. But I keep it in perspective.

finally) I could give a rat's ass about how frequently you - or anyone else - visits. Unless I write a post specifically for you (and I'll send you a link if I do, but I don't do it often) this is about one thing and one thing alone. I don't need you to check in every day, every week or every month. You get to check in when you WANT to, when it feels good. I will write or I won't, based on the same feelings.

Since when did blogger become an extension of so many people's self? After all - what is following? It's sort of like friends on Facebook, a totally lame and almost altogether worthless form of feeling less alone.

Now there is one caveat to which I was leading. When I have received emails from many of the wonderful people I've connected with online, THAT is different. My rant above is about those teeny little pictures that show up on the home page because someone started following me. It's a little like stalking, I think. The followers. Sounds like a bad horror movie from 1988. I wish you could remove the ability to publicly follow my blog. I guess I just want it to be more personal. When someone posts a comment that they really got something from a subject I blathered on about, it makes me feel like we have connected on some level. And connections are what I'm all about.

I have a number of new favorite blogs that I have discovered lately. Favorites among them are Matthew, Tall Kay, Green Eyes Momster , Chef Kar & Mrs. Nesbitt. It's been a while, so I'm throwing them the Pop Tart award, just for fun. They can do with it what they wish, but the spirit of this award is to share it with people who bring something special to your world. No rules, no demands - just save it in your back pocket. The right moment and perfect recipient will show themselves.

In addition, I'm sending it to G-Man, who continues to give me reason to blog almost every Friday. I've met more cool people through him. You rock, Galen.

OK, I'm off my soap box now. But thank you to those of you who have become my friends. We need to MEET one of these days!


g-man said...

Rachel...You are a Rose among the Thorns!
Thank You from the bottom of my heart. You are talented, sincere, creative, and very witty. You make blogging fun...Rock On!!
(Besides, if Fireblossom likes you, you can't be half bad, she's strict!)

G said...

Actually, people can. When they do decide to follow, they have the option of following publicly (thus those annoying little pictures) or following anonymously (no annoying little pictures).

Hope that helps.

I still like what you write, and there isn't anything can change that

Hope your weekend is a good 'un.

Fireblossom said...

Eep. You're scaring me! I have to follow you or how would I know when there is a new post to read? What's wrong with following? :-(

Fireblossom said...

Omg, LOL, I just saw what G-Man wrote!

*peers over my glasses sternly*


Riot Kitty said...

OK, I'll stop following you. Just kidding. I follow blogs I like 'cause it's easier than clicking on them now and then to see who has posted.

Riot Kitty said...

PS The headline would be hilarious if you were writing about, say, breasts.

Whitemist said...

I would rather not be anonymous, that makes me feel like a stalker.
What you write happens to often speak to me and so i respond.
BTW, I finally did a "Flash 55", thankas to you and G man.

pheromone girl said...

OK. Guys - you're all my FRIENDS, so far. You don't count. I guess I'm talking about all those people that like having 375 little pictures of people they don't know on the corner. Then, they complain because they only have 275. It's like facebook friends. I talk to my friends on facebook. Anyone that isn't someone I would talk to IN PERSON doesn't get accepted, period.

I love it when what I write stirs things up, though.

And FB & RK - LOVE YOU GUYS. There's just no other way to say it. XOXOXO.

Tall Kay said...

I just recently discovered your blog when you moved the grown-up place :o)

I would follow you anywhere! I don't see a followers I must be one of the silent stalkers! I'm humbled and laughing my *ss off at the 'pop tart' award. Pop tarts were the one thing I never allowed my daughters to have for breakfast, and they still hold a resentment over it! See...I knew they were addictive!!!

Thanks for the honor, and I hope you will consider me a friend too. (This would have been really funny if it WAS about breasts!)

Darth Weasel said...

you can actually remove the following gadget, too, if you so desire. and yeah, have never understood the fascination with "I have more followers than Schme Joe" thing....or having a large number of friends on face-crack or myspace or twits-aholics anonymous.

With that said...great rant.

Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel any better, following you doesn't work because you moved blogs. So I have you bookmarked instead and I'm very much a dropper-innerer as a result.

And I'm typing this with a cloth tied across my mouth so that you can't recognise my voice or tell that it's me. Just to be extra safe.

Someone who's not really following you, honest.

Anonymous said...

Oh - and if I were following you and I were called Matthew, I would thank you very much for your acknowledgment and support.

Just so we're clear on that.

Lou said...

I don't like the follower thing. You can hide it, that is what I did. Sometimes I see the number change on blogger dashboard, but I never check it.
I ignore it. If it's important to someone, let them have it.

If it makes you feel better, I had a hell of time finding your new blog;)

Mama Zen said...

I'm going to follow you, I'm going to follow you!

Just kidding. I promise, I won't.

Scarlet said...

The stalker's a silly little button, isn't it? I like to know when you've posted something new, but sometimes I pop in regardless just to check up on you and see what you and your kiddies have been up to. No harm in that, is there?

Dawn said...

I use wordpress sooo no "followers" that I know of. I've never officially followed anyone. For me blogging is about being able to express myself and also about interacting with other bloggers. I am not worried about how many people read or leave comments. I've been blogging for quite awhile and I've had more or less readers at different times. I prefer a smaller, cozier blog environment though. :-)

pheromone girl said...

I laughed so hard at some comments. Especially Matthew. He's addicting, in case you haven't visited yet. Get thee over there!!

What fun. I feel like I opened Pandora's box. And I HAVE one, made especially for me last Christmas by my bff Riot Kitty.

Anonymous said...

Okay ~ my turn to weigh in ... now that I've found you again:-) I'm a virgin blogger and am just now learning the ins and outs. On the follower issue: I didn't like having it visible on my page so I turned it off. I had a few friends that wanted to follow but didn't know how and I didn't know enough to tell them, so I turned the "button" back on and they were instantly able to follow. I struggled with the word follower and even blogged about that early on. I was happy to see I could change what was displayed and have done so a time or two until I found something that sits comfortably with me.

Since I'm new at this, I confess to being one of those that likes to see that people have some interest in what I'm saying. True, like you, I am doing this for myself...I mean, why else would I write about my literal "shitty day" if not to remind myself about such occurrences? That being said, the comments that visitors leave do inspire me. Would I write without them? Absolutely ~ plenty of days I have. However, I do enjoy them.

As for following you or others ~ there are few I do because I just forget to add them. Friday's are my day on the computer and catch up days. When I'm poking around Flash 55s I typically catch up with those that I've been peering in on from time to time. You happen to be one of them!

On another note --> thank you for the Pop Tart. I humbly accept and eat every bite of it so there may not be much left to hand out, though I may replace it with something like a Dove Bar or something :-) No, wouldn't give those away either! Selfish, selfish me. I'd best go blog about that now ;-)

Hugs to you,


P.S. Love the Facebook comment ~ it has inspired me to write about the steps I just took on my page to narrow the scope of my "friends".

Shionge said...

Yep...make lots of sense and sorry if I've been missing but you know we will meet oneday & someday right ;)

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